Maa.... o maa!

She was all broken, rather broken into chunks when she saw her son sleeping deep inside that coffin. Tears on her eyes were as heavy as those ocean waters. She could see him getting separated from her.  She was lost in him, lost because her only son whom she raised for 23 years, died in an accident today, was sleeping peacefully in the coffin. She wanted to run to him, to kiss his sweet brow and to wrap him so tightly that no one takes him away from her. She sat next to him, his look stabbed her heart just like a knife; his face was looking so clean that it didn’t had even a scar of an accident. Yet her arms somehow did not ache to hold him like her heart told her she should wake him up.

 ‘Talk to me, talk to me Nirav’, was the only thing she repeated since his body was brought back from the hospital after the Post mortem. The minute she got the news, she couldn’t be in her senses and after she got back to this world, although it was hard for her to see her  son laying in front of her wrapped in blood , she still made an effort in waking him up.

‘Wake up, wake up my boy. Your mother is calling you Nirav, uthh jaa, uthna jaldi, else you’ll get late for your college. Uthna beta, uthna jaldi’, she kept reciting to the highest pitch of her pain and anger. Relatives and friends, who marked their presence to morn his loss, couldn’t see Nirav’s mother dying like this. They too even consoled her, but she was not ready to accept that her son is no more now. She cried, cried in pain, cried in tears, cried for the wrong time, wrong deed and for the wrong day that ruined everything from her.  How could Nirav get back now? How could he respond? And how could he hug his mother whose soul was buried inside his heart? Although he was seeing her, but he couldn’t stop her from dying nor living, he couldn’t stop her from letting him go, he couldn’t stop her cry, he couldn’t stop her to let him be free, he couldn’t stop her for anything…rather anything which commanded love in both the ways. After Nirav’s father’s death, his mother raised him with great affection, and now while he was just placed in an MNC, destiny had something else reserved. While, he was returning back from the placement drive, he thought of surprising his mother by writing a letter for all her deeds and then gifting her, his placement letter too. As he was about to get back to his place, a truck hit his 2-wheeler and he was crushed into chunks. Soon after this, he was rushed to the hospital by his friends, but he knew that he wouldn’t be alive now. While, he was only few minutes away from his death bed, he took a promise from his friend Saransh that he would show his mother ‘HIS FIRST AND LAST PLACEMENT LETTER AND HIS HAND WRITTEN LETTER for her’. Even though Saransh was all left in tears, he gave his last promise to him and then within few minutes, he could see him lastly closing his shattered eyes.  

Saransh couldn’t see Nirav’s mother dying like this. He immediately opened Nirav’s bag and removed the cover which had the placement letter along with the hand written letter for her.

‘Aunty, yeh Nirav ne likha tha aapke liye. Woh aapko khud hi dena chahta tha lekin….and saying this, he started shedding tears on her laps’.

Nirav’s mother  couldn’t tolerate Nirav’s death, yet she made an effort to open the very last cover letter  of her only son Nirav, which Saransh gave her. Her hands very shivering, yet she opened it with great affection and warmth.  She took it with so much warmth as it had something to say, as it had Nirav’s voice and as it had her son’s desire of his heart.

   

As she opened, she saw the placement letter and now…..now she couldn’t control her loud cry circulating in the atmosphere. This cry was so loud that it gave her a mild state of unconsciousness. Saransh quickly dropped few water droplets on her face and forcefully gave her the glucose water to drink. She still couldn’t stop herself from crying out louder. Still she couldn’t calm her mind and got detached to the outside world completely. A minute her, her silence was speaking, now she wasn’t active neither she was passive. All she could do was just staring at Nirav’s body. After 5 minutes, her eyes fell on the letter that had written ent drive, he thought of surprising his mother by writing a letter for all her deeds and then gifting her, his placement letter too. As he was about to get back to his place, a truck hit his 2-wheeler and he was crushed into chunks. Soon after this, he was rushed to the hospital by his friends, but he knew that he wouldn’t be alive now. While, he was only few minutes away from his death bed, he took a promise from his friend Saransh that he would show his mother ‘HIS FIRST AND LAST PLACEMENT LETTER AND HIS HAND WRITTEN LETTER for her’. Even though Saransh was all left in tears, he gave his last promise to him and then within few minutes, he could see him lastly closing his shattered eyes.  

‘Ma: Jab chot kabhi mere lag jaati thi, to aankh teri bhi to bhar aati thi’.

She couldn’t stop herself from opening it and reading those lines:

‘Old and wrinkled….but beautifully so. Eyes behind spectacles…but perceptive so. In her 50s…but young so. That’s my ma, my mummaa….I still remember the day, when we both were connected by a single umbilical cord. You know ma, that was the best thing you’ve done for me..I was brought up, and you gave me life to live. Then after dad’s death, you always raised me with great dignity and honor. You know, I still love that white sweater which you had knitted especially for me. I simply cherish that… like in no other world. As a single child, you imparted many good teachings in me and that the biggest thing I adore from you ma. Even if dad wasn’t around, I still couldn’t feel his absence. Because for me you were my dad and you were only my Ma…days would be even better in these ways….There are so many things I remember about you Ma, with unadulterated memories….with your unadulterated love. The ever - classic You! I know ma, when I used to be depress, you too couldn’t stop crying. When I won my school’s first race, you couldn’t stop yourself from celebrating. When I passed my matriculation, you couldn’t stop from spreading the news ma. You know even when I’m back from a party, I still feel hungry to taste your food, you know unless and until I don’t see you around me, I’m all alone… Days and nights, they all revolve around you and will still revolve around you Ma, even though how much grown up I’m…You were and you are still the constant force in my life. In my subconscious I always feel you….I always know your prayers will clandestinely shadow me. At times, I wish I can give you all those things in return which you’ve missed previously. But I know I’m not that capable to share at least half  of your givings. And today when your son is recruited, you surely can take a sigh of relief and leave the things on me….I know that’s fairly impossible,  atleast not in this life. It will take me so many more lives …will have to born and reborn again…to be your ‘THE ONLY SON’ again . Everything was possible only because of you and I share my success with only and only you, I love you, you little lady….you are my force…my joy…my inspiration!!’

Thank you for being there with me Ma, proud to be your son!

And reading these lines, she was surrounded by those clouds of darkness, which couldn’t return the peace in her only heart. She kissed her son softly and she too bleeded in death with the pain of losing her only son ’Nirav’……….Lastly, all she could do was keep the knitted white sweater by his side and let him go!

Nirav who was seeing his mother from heaven, couldn’t do anything but just to flash all those cherished memories with her and wait for the next birth to be her ‘ONLY SON’……

PS: You know, things can be conditional, people can be conditional and souls too can be conditional, but there is only mother’s love which cannot be conditional, its purely unconditional. Apart of your heart runs deep inside your mother, so never ever miss a chance to show your love for her. On this mother’s day, we would want all your mother’s to read this and dedicate atleast a line for her in the comment box….Wishing all mothers a very happy mother’s day! Love you my mum too!